Has anyone ever prayed for God to do something, then when He does, you think "That is totally not what I was expecting"? That describes my last week in a nutshell. My deepest prayer, and desire, is to get real with God. I want to know everyday that He is in charge. I want to quit breaking camp without Him. I want to be led by His cloud during the day and a flame at night. That is my deepest desire. This weekend at the retreat I prayed for complete dependence on Him. I also prayed that He would break my heart for the people around me, that I would sincerely give a rip about other people, and not just for my own convenience or agenda. I asked to feel a burden for others, when they hurt, I hurt. When there is something I can do, I would do it without counting the cost to myself first. God answered that prayer very quickly and directly; He told me that the way to get closer to Him was by serving His people. Then He gave me the chance to do it.
I have spent this week taking care of my oldest daughter, who had her first migraine. And boy, it was a whopper. It took three trips to the doctor to manage it. Jessi is a package deal, so Sophie was here too, with a fever and a sinus infection. Now, under my own power, I could do this. God made sure I knew it was His power and not mine because my back has been "off kilter" all week, since last Saturday. He sent friends with food and ibuprofen. My mom came to fix lunch for all of us, including the babysitting kids, on Monday. A very good friend took my place with my daughter in the ER for 8 hours so I could take care of the homefront. Without the goodness of God leading the way, I would have struggled and fallen on my face. It would have been a long, bitter week. My natural self did rear her ugly head occasionally for a pity party, but I have to give God the glory for this week. No question: He answered my prayer.