So, um, I'm not sure how to tell this story because it is slightly embarassing to me, but in the bond of sisterhood and the quest to be transparent, only for God's glory, I'll spill it. The biggest reason to share, though, is because I know I am not alone. Insecurity is something we all struggle with, in some way, shape, or form, and until we get a handle on it as women, we will never be ok.
I got my hair cut the other day and it looks nice.
I bought a new (to me) shirt yesterday (Ok, for $1 at a rummage sale and it is so cute!) and it looks nice.
I have been working out for this triathlon and it looks nice.
That morning was just one of those times when everything seemed to work out...my hair looked good, my shirt looked good, and my jeans fit good. I felt pretty. Two friends even told me I looked like a rock star. Hilarious, but I'll take the compliment. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about myself. (Pride goeth before the fall...) Because humility doesn't come naturally to me, I prayed during church that if I was getting a little full of myself, Lord please humble me. Not that it's not ok to feel pretty, or want to look pretty, but it shouldn't be the determining factor of a successful day, right? Anyway, God heard my prayer, and apparently agreed with me.
We were in the gym eating donuts after the service when my husband looked at me and asked when I was getting my moustache waxed again. Ok, I don't know about you, but that is not an area most girls like to be called out on. Seriously.
He wasn't being mean or anything, just conversational. As sweetly as I could, I said "The only reason you are still standing is because I know you love me. Now get the boys. We're done here." It was a long ride home of him trying to apologize and me praying for God's perspective in everything. In one sentence he took the wind right out of my rock star sails.
Do you see the problem, though? When we base our perceptions of ourselves on the words of others, what do we do when they don't suffice? What do we do when the world makes us feel ugly? Where do we go?
When we got home from church, I didn't want to look at Rob. I didn't want to look in the mirror...I didn't like what I was seeing anymore. I cried out in my head, Lord, where am I supposed to look? The answer came softly...Look at Me.
Look at Me.
I created you in My image. (Genesis 1:26)
You are precious in My sight. (Isaiah 43:4)
You are My masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)
You are called by My Name. (Isaiah 43:1)
Even though God saw my need to be humbled, more than that, He saw my need to know where real beauty comes from. It comes from knowing who I am in Christ. Christ, the Alpha and Omega, who never changes, who stands in all eternity, who sees it all, loves me, and thinks I am beautiful. Moustache, sweatpants, bad hair...it doesn't matter. He sees straight to the depth of my superficial heart and reminds me not to get all full of myself...to save some room for Him.
I don't know what your Achilles heel is...the one place the poison arrow can take you down. Maybe you don't like your nose, or your skin, or your weight. God knows though, and is bigger than that. When the world makes you feel not so pretty, remember who God created you to be. Beautiful in His image, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14).
I hope that each of you knows the love Jesus has for you. When you are left feeling less than beautiful, hear the words that Jesus spoke to me today...Look at Me, child. Look at Me.