Becoming a Christian is a little bit like that. We get excited about following Jesus, but then Satan steps in to tell us everything we do wrong, all the reasons we aren't qualified to come to Jesus, and we wait. We wait until we quit drinking, smoking, swearing, fighting with our kids. We wait until we feel like we can go and blend in with all the other "perfect people" at church, until pretty soon we've forgotten what we were waiting for. And the victory goes to the enemy.
Can I tell you that the deceiver will do everything he can to keep you away from Jesus? He is the father of lies, and any whispers you hear in your head, that you aren't worthy, that you should stay away, that you screwed up too much to come back, are not of God. If you have accepted Christ as your savior, Satan knows he can't take that away from you. Ever. But he also knows that through lies and deception, shame and defeat, he can keep you from living out the life that Jesus died to give you. The enemy can make you feel like your feet are so mired in sin and quicksand that you will never see the light of day, but that is why he is so good at being so bad. His name, Satan, means "one who separates." He will do everything possible to keep you separated from God, whether just in this life or through all eternity.
If you haven't accepted Jesus as your Savior because you are believing the lies that Satan pours into you, stop. There will not be one of us in Heaven who deserves to be there. We only get there because we are invited in by God, because of what Jesus did for us. Romans 3:23 tells us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." All of us. Even the ones that don't look like it. Stop waiting until you feel perfect enough to answer His call.
My journey with the office has gone the same way. I didn't want to write in it because it wasn't set up...all I could see were details that had to be sorted out. The longer I spinned my wheels about how to decorate, the less I felt like writing. I began to question the call on my life to write. Maybe I don't really have anything to say...Then I just...did it. I sat down at my little kitchen table in here, fired up the computer, and started to write. For two hours early one morning, I wrote everything I felt like I had to. I didn't look around at what I wanted to change, or imagine different pictures or paint colors on the wall. I just wrote. Regardless of the state of my office, I can still write, because that is what I came to do.
And regardless of the state of your life, Jesus can save you, because that is what He came to do.
"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door,
I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."