I'm sure all of you have heard the saying "You can't pour out if you're not filling up" and similar phrases. That became a reality today as exhaustion stole my ambition...eating this book proposal elephant one bite at a time is working to steal the joy of wanting to write a book for Jesus in the first place. Half of me wonders if I've bitten off more than I can chew, and the other half knows I did, lol.
Truly, as I explained to my husband today, I am confident that God has told me to proceed in this direction, so for the sake of obedience alone, I plod along. Obedience needs to be its own reward sometimes, and I would psych myself out if I really thought that victory was in my hands. I was thinking about Gideon today, when God kept telling him to pare down his army, and he won the battle with 300 soldiers and some cooking utensils.
Anyway, at the urging of a friend, I took my ipod for a walk today to get some refueling for this endeavor. Because the mosquitoes were eating me alive and I was afraid to walk the wooded trail alone, I started jogging. Water bottle sloshing, keys jiggling, phone and ipod weighing me down, in my street clothes, jogging. I was thirsty but didn't want to slow down to grab a drink.
The irony of the whole situation hit me...I was on a walk to get some Living Water refreshment, which I hadn't wanted to slow down to do...and was too into the jog to take a drink of real water either.
I think I just need to see things in real life sometimes before I get it.
Update: Woke this morning to read my daily devo from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, which was proof to me, again, that God knows where I'm at and that I am heading the right direction. Here it is, in case you are needing the same encouragement:
Keep walking with me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. Someday you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery is dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of life.
PS: Just found out that I am "the friend" refered to in #10 on this blog on how to maintain order in your life during crazy times.