Friday, September 16, 2011

She Said What???

"It is to one's glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11

But sometimes that is easier said than done.

Have you ever had someone upset with you due to a misunderstanding, and then get mad right back at them for being upset with you in the first place for something that didn't actually happen? Confused? Let me give you an illustration:

You think I am fixing meatloaf for dinner and get mad about that. I was never fixing meatloaf in the first place but now I'm kind of irritated with you for being mad about the meatloaf that never existed. I'm feeling like my cooking judgment is being questioned and if I wanted to fix meatloaf in the first place that should be just fine anyway.


Now I'm finding myself getting worked up about a situation that is totally made up but I feel like defending my choice to make a freakin' meatloaf.

Anyway, enough about meatloaf.

Something along those lines happened to me this week; a person receiving wrong information levelled a judgment against me. Even after clearing up the misunderstanding, I could feel the indignation bubbling up. Bitterness was creeping in. Because this relationship is important to me, I called a friend to talk me off the ledge. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you the things you already know.

Here's what she said:
  • How can I glorify God in this situation?
  • How can I serve the other person?
  • How can I become more like Christ through this?
Conflict is not easy, or random. It not only  reveals what we are passionate about, it reveals the condition of our hearts. No matter how justified I felt in my response, it was not right.

How about you? Ever get bent out of shape and not know how to get back into shape? Maybe try the three questions. Just don't let the situation become more important that the relationship.

Click here for a one minute video on dealing with conflict.


  1. I really like meatloaf and am wondering why you didn't make me one. :-) Just kidding, I am so glad we are able to challenge each other to live the stuff we teach, not just talk about it.

  2. Ouch! I'd rather just have the meatloaf! ;)