Lately I have been learning how to live.
When I went to She Speaks this summer, I had two goals in mind. One, get a book deal, or at least be headed in that direction, and two, hit the ground running as a speaker. I thought I would come home and send out my carefully prepared bio sheets to every church and organization, get an organizer to keep my speaking engagements straight, and finish the chapters on the book I started.
As I sat in each session, listening carefully for that one thing God wanted me to take away, I began to feel sad. Like I was trying to fit into clothes that weren't mine. I thought maybe it was nerves, or the enemy trying to shake my confidence. Instead, it was actually the one thing I was supposed to be hearing. God was not telling me my dreams were dead, but that we were going to rest and just be for a bit. You might laugh, because I know I did, but the message was "Go home and play with your kids."
Now I won't lie, half of me was like, "Really? I came all this way and did all this work so You could tell me to go home and play with my kids?"
The other half, truth be told, was relieved. This is my favorite season of motherhood, and I don't know why I insist on living with one foot out the door all the time. I needed to travel across the country so God could remind me of what I already knew.
In this season of resting and waiting, He is at work. My eyes and my heart are being opened in new ways. Taking time to read, watch movies, and just hang out with friends with no other agenda than enjoying each other's company are not luxuries, they are the details that make life richer. By sending me home without a clear plan, God gave me a gift.
"God wants me to get where He wants me to go more than I want to get where He wants me to go" is a saying I read in a book by Mark Batterson. God knows His plan for me. My role is to listen and obey.
How about you? Are you taking time to just enjoy life, or are you constantly working towards something? Maybe it's time to take a deep breath, and do nothing at all for a little while. The world won't end or forget you, and you may just find yourself again.