Sunday, January 31, 2010

broken hearts accepted

Psalm 51 tells us that the only acceptable sacrifice to God is a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I offered mine to Him this morning.

It has been a weekend of naughty kids and a hormonal me, and that is never a good mix. By this morning, I was very happy to drop them off at their respective Sunday school classes and have a breather. You know how I like to get my praise on and look forward to the music so much, but this morning it was different. One of the songs referred to our (my...I need to own it) crimson stain and how Jesus has washed us white as snow. Every time I sang crimson stain I could hear myself yelling at my kids mostly because it made me feel better to yell but did nothing to help the situation. The tears rolled down my cheeks as I recognized that I needed to be washed white as snow and there was nothing on my own I could about it but fall on the grace of God. All the meals I fix for friends who need a hand, all the errands to help out, all the patience in the world with other people does nothing to wash away sin. It is not a tally sheet of trying to balance more good than bad. It is just an awareness that no matter what, I will never be good enough for God. But along with that awareness is a knowledge that He doesn't need me to be. He loves me anyway and offers me grace. A fresh start. A firm place to stand. He is not waiting for me to clean up my act or act better. He loves me today.

It was truly an amazing morning. The next song we sang was by Matt Redman, You Alone Can Rescue. How appropriate...I stared my need for rescue straight in the face during the previous song. I can't describe the squeaky clean feeling that taking a nice hot shower and being wrapped in a giant fluffy towel, warm and snuggled. When we truly recognize our need for forgiveness, stop hiding, and seek Him, He comes closer.

If I might be bold, if there is something holding you back from seeking God, something you think you need to fix, He knows already. And He still wants you. Yes, you. If someone reading this wonders if this God is for real, I can promise you He is. But you don't need to take my word for can take His. He is knocking. He is waiting for you to let Him in.

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