Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Sweat Equity

Ahhh...the ugly inner voice. The one that points out everyone else's shortcomings in order to cover up my own inadequacies...

Mine has been squawking on overdrive lately.

I have started exercising again recently...hence the squawking. It is really hard to stand in front of a mirror that takes up an entire wall and not stare at yourself, picking apart everything that needs to change. It doesn't help that some of the classes seem to have an unfair amount of "perky" people in them and that I am relatively unco-ordinated. My mental gopher mallet got a serious work-out during Zumba this morning.

It is so easy to make excuses:
She obviously hasn't had five kids.
I'm a grandma...what do you expect?
I've been busy taking care of everyone else.

Except that at the root of it all is two things. The first one is that muscles deteriorate if you don't use them and I am the by-product of my inactive lifestyle. The second is that if I am too busy comparing myself to everyone else, I won't ever be satisfied with myself.

I'm learning to find small victories in everything...showing up is half the battle. And I do actually feel better with a little sweat going on. I have a magnet on my fridge that says "If you don't take care of your body, where will you live?" I am hoping to live in this gravity-stricken temple for quite some time, so I guess I have some maintenance to perform.