It's like knowing that someone has already bought you a birthday present, and you are pretty sure you know what it is, but you still have to wait to receive it.
Ephesians 1:18-20 is at the root of this feeling:
I am standing on an iceberg of knowledge, with only the barest tip sticking out into the ocean. If the power that raised Christ from the dead was only meant to keep us from going to hell, God could have waited until we were knocking on the pearly gates to see if we wanted this gift or not. But, in His wisdom and mercy, He allows us to take part in the resurrection today, while we are still living this life. And we have no idea the fullness of what that actually means. I am headed back into seeker mode. The last few years I have been ok with just being busy for Jesus, and maintaining with what I already know.I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms,
I feel like I am becoming a student again.
At night my soul longs for You,
Indeed, my spirit within me seeks You diligently;