Today had amazing potential to go right into the toilet from the word "Go!" Actually, it started as one of those nights that left no clear division from the day before. Musical beds, kids up and down, me watching the clock, hoping that I wasn't really only getting 2 to 3 hours at a shot of sleep. I could do this fine when I had babies who weren't really supposed to be sleeping all night anyway. Somehow it is harder to take now. And, after a long sleepless night, everyone in the house was up by 5:45 a.m. This girl has gotten used to her coffee and devo time from 5:30-6:30, so to have my quiet time derailed was really not sitting well.
Then, like a fuzzy lightbulb, a thought flashed through my head. I should probably pray for help today because I am sure I will not do well on my own. I prayed sincerely for God's love to fill me to overflowing, so that when I got bumped today, it would only be love spilling out. I prayed for grace, admitting my tendency to like things "just so", and that I would not fly off the handle when they didn't go that way. I prayed for mercy, to both give and receive it, showing kindness to others when they don't deserve it, and that God would have mercy on this tired, irritable woman who also doesn't deserve it.
God really answered my prayers. My kids weren't like all the sudden extra good. I was just able to handle it. It wasn't like the saccharine-sweet feeling when you are trying your best to be nice because you're supposed to and you really don't feel like it. You know, like when other people's kids act up and you really want to scold them, but you smile and say "Oh, mine act like that too." I didn't feel like that at all. Just calm. I really enjoyed my time with them, and they acted calmer because I wasn't a raving lunatic. The whole day seemed to go better than expected, and it was even my turn in the kindergarten classroom. A couple of times the normal me started to creep in, and it was like the Holy Spirit whispered, "You have the tools for this."
Here's the kicker, though: things were a little ornery on the marriage front. I thought about not fixing his lunch for tomorrow because he was a little ugly with me. BAM! Immediate conviction. Who am I, an obvious recipient of God's grace and mercy, to withhold the same from someone else?
So, even if I get sleep tonight, I will still pray the same tomorrow morning. I don't know why it takes me so long to take my own advice sometimes.
Oh yea--I want to be filled up with His grace. I get bumped and out spills Jesus. I love that word picture. Thanks!ReplyDelete
I love that word picture as well!ReplyDelete
I really felt like I was supposed to call you yesterday, and now I'm sorry I didn't. I just couldn't get you out of my mind.
I used to tell people, "If we all could take our own advice, we'd have great relationships, be 'super-sister-Christian', wouldn't need therapists, everyone would be healthy...etc."
That's why I love that verse in Eccl. 4:10 "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
God needs us to need each other. He created us for companionship for Himself and with others. If we always took our own advice (which would be nice), we wouldn't need each other...
Glad He gave you the peace you needed yesterday. Praying for more peace today!
Be blessed girl! Heaven
You have my sympathy on the musical beds and sleepless nights! I feel your pain, and I also have "my time" in the morning and when that gets messed up by a child waking early I get very irritable! Then I usually have to ask God right then, change my attitude because I'm mad I didn't get my time with you! lol.ReplyDelete
IT's great that you knew to pray before the day started and that he answered your prayer. If I'd remember to pray of such things in the am, I'm sure i'd have much better days sometimes!
As for the husband comment......Been there too! I've had thoughts of leaving his laundry pile up in the corner he throws up. But always get convicted! :)
Ha, I meant the corner he throws IT! Meaning his laundry! hee hee!ReplyDelete
what a sweet testimony!ReplyDelete
Sweet... that's the word I 'taste' when I read and ponder this.
'Taste and see that the Lord is good aka sweet' :)