Yesterday God gave me the thought about not knowing our limits until we push those boundaries. Today He gave it to me again, about Him. Which is probably how He meant it the first time, but as we know, I need to hear things more than once most of the time.
Let me give you a picture of what you would see if you were looking in my kitchen window right now: I am sitting on the floor, laptop in my lap, Third Day blasting on the kitchen cd player (May Your Wonders Never Cease is on right now), dinner preparations all over the counter, and a lump in my throat the size of an avocado pit. My dad is coming to dinner tonight, and I need your prayers.
The relationship with my dad has been strained probably since the day I was born, but he has gradually withdrawn from my life almost completely. He is not a bad guy, just one who has never learned to connect with me, and now with my kids. It is the musings of Connor, 6, wondering why he doesn't have a grampa like the other kids that make me bang my head against this wall time after time. My older kids gave up asking a long time ago. So, the cry of why doesn't my dad want a relationship with me has moved to the next generation. I invite him to things a few times each year, and this time he said yes. He and his wife are coming to dinner tonight.
I have been praying, asking for a nice time of fellowship and no seriously naughty acts by my little boys. While I was chopping, slicing, and dicing stuff for dinner tonight (fajitas if you were wondering), and getting my praise on to Third Day, God was asking why I was asking for so little. "Don't you know who I am? I am the Healer of all things, the Builder of all things, the Restorer of all relationships. Why are you just asking to have a nice time when I have all this I can give?"
Hmmm...good question. Because I am hitting my head on my limits.Because I am struggling in my own power. Because I am forgetting that this awesome, huge God of the Universe is capable of so much more than a dinner party.
So friends, I have abandoned my meal prep and cleaning to do some serious prayer and worship of my God. Tears stream down my cheeks as I consider all He is and all He has done for me, for all of us who believe. If tonight does not result in a brand new fresh start, I will still turn my eyes upon Jesus. He is the one who puts His breath in my lungs, allowing me to stand in the face of all things.
If you have a little time between 4:00 and 7:00 today, lift a prayer for us.